Hidden Feelings
by nothing2lose0789
Summary: What if Joey had told Rachel his feelings before Ross? How will Rachel react to his feeling?
1. Chapter 1

Hidden Feelings

Summary: What happens when Joey told his feelings for Rachel before she moves in with Ross. And doesn't tell Ross what's going on with him. Takes place in season 8.

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters...Sadly...but if Ross is for sale I'll take him.

**Keeping the Secret**

Joeys POV:

The entire day was filled with questions of how I felt. It was just a practice date so I can try something new and all the sudden I felt like this. I was so scared to go near Rachel because I had a feeling that whatever the hell I felt was going to come back. I had just walked out on my date after asking questions about looking at someone completely different and how I was feeling. The whole night I spent thinking of Rachel and that was only the beginning I knew that this feeling wasn't going to end unless I told her how I really felt and knew that she didn't feel the same way about me. But if she did then I'd have more problems to deal with so much more.

I entered my apartment after taking a deep breath and I noticed that Rachel was watching a movie. It was Cujo and she looked terrified. "Hey Rach." I said, entering the apartment. I looked at the TV. "Are you watching Cujo?"

"Yea." She looked up at me. "How can you watch this alone and what the hell is wrong with this dog?" I smiled at this. She just kept looking at me.

"I can't believe that you're watching this alone." I finally managed to say

"So how was your big date?"

"It was ok. I really had no connection with her so I figured end it before I started anything up."

Yea right! I told myself. I started to walk towards my bedrooms

"Where are you going? You're not going to let me finish this alone are you?" She asked keeping her eyes on me instead of the TV.

"No" I told her as I walked to the chair and sat on the armrest.

I held Rachel close as the movie played on. "Ok there he is. That's Cujo." She told me

"I know" I replied back.

A loud growl came from the TV as she covered her eyes.

Cujo. How could she watch something like this by herself and I know its not something to watch by myself. "How can you watch this, Joey? Aren't you scared?" She asked me. The movie made her jump as she put her arms around me burying her face in my chest. I felt myself shake as I slowly put an arm around her and tried to comfort her. It felt so nice to have her in my arms and I couldn't tell her how I was feeling.

"Terrified." My voice was shaking when I said this to her. What was wrong with me? Why was I all the sudden falling in love with someone I've known for the past eight years of my life?

I knew I couldn't tell her. It would be way too hard. Besides she's just a really close friend of mine. This is normal...well maybe for some people. I'd get over it in a day or so.

The movie ended and she was practically in tears and I still held on to her. "Well that was an interesting movie but what the hell was wrong with that dog?" She asked me.

"Beats me. I guess rabies are really that bad." I flashed a small smile.

Rachel must have noticed that I was hurt or something because she kept looking at me.

No. I told myself. This Rachel. I don't get deep feelings for anyone. She just a close friend of mine... but what would it be like?

"Joey. Are you ok?" Rachel's voice caught my attention.

"Why do you ask?'

"Well you seem sort of spaced out"

Oh god.. How was I supposed to say something now? Yea I'm fine everything's going to be ok? Yea right that a great way to go Trib.

"I'm fine. Just thinking about a few things that happened tonight with my date." I told her.. Nice going that wont bring up a question.

"Really. Like what?" Rachel looked at me like I had done something. Something wrong.

"You know what its probably nothing. I just wasn't feeling well. Nothing serious." I told her.

"Ok." She said and walked to the kitchen. I watched her. Never kept my eyes off of her for a second. I'm not staring just looking.

Just looking? This is Rachel I can't just look. Something was wrong and I needed figure out why I was feeling this way. I just needed to know that she was feeling the same way. What about Ross? He'd kill me if I told him I was falling for his ex and the mother of his and Rachel's unborn child. And to think, me, Joey Tribianni, falling in love. Chandler would have said 'hey you're finally growing up'.

Maybe it was time for me to think about what I was doing with my relationships instead of just sex and never calling back. After all knowing a friend for eight years can help out when you don't know what to do. The thing is I was going deep. Falling for Rachel Green...something that wasn't supposed to happen. and the only reason was that I never get strong feelings for anyone...until now.

For now I didnt want to share anything. The only thing on my mind was what if she didnt feel the same way for me?

A/N: I hope you enjoy this. Reviews are welcome at anytime and once i can figure out how to update this i'll get the next chapter up as soon as i can


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: i'm sorry i havent been updating this. I sort of lost track of it after coming up with ideas for a few more fan fiction stories that are surprisingly turning out well.i should have those posted up soon.

Disclaimer: its too bad that i can't own them... but would someone like to sell them to me for a reasonable price?

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**Telling How He Feels**

The next day I woke up feeling like I had my heart broken. But this isn't me. I don't have feelings for anyone. I sat at the counter telling myself that it was nothing just a small crush but that was impossible to believe after she came out of her room.

I want to tell her but I can't. It's too hard and if I truly feel like this what would I do if she didn't feel the same?

Questions kept coming to my mind.

I watched her walk pass me as I thought about this. She walked right passed me and not once did I take my eyes off her.

"Morning Joey" She said walking toward me.

"Hey Rach." I replied back. I noticed that my voice was sort of shaking.

I needed to say something. But what?

This is way too hard.

Then Ross came to my mind. If I told her now and she did feel the same way what would Ross do? Rachel's carrying his baby and I know they belong together. But if she feels the same way maybe when we tell him it wont be a big problem and everyone knows I'm not that stupid to keep this a secret. Or am I

Just tell her I told myself. I really need help. "Joey" the sound of Rachel's voice interrupted my thoughts. And thank god I was interrupted. My thoughts were driving me crazy.

"Joe" She said again. I finally looked up. "Are you ok?"

No. Not that question. Just tell her the truth. I kept saying to myself.

"I'm really not sure if I am or not" I finally said. What the hell was that Joey? I asked myself.

I watched look at me like was crazy or something. "What do you mean?" She asked with a questionable look. Now I did it.

"Rach. I need to tell you something and I figured I should tell you this before anyone else I needed to know what you really thought."

"Ok" she took a seat in the recliner looking at me like what's going on here.

"I really don't know where to begin..." my throat started going dry and there was a carton of milk right next to me. "We've known each other about what...eight years right?"

"Yea..."

I couldn't do it. I started to shake. My body went numb. That's how I knew what I really felt for her. "Well I know that when you know someone and are as close to someone like you and me that something unexplainable starts to happen" that was it I couldn't do it. I kept looking down every time I spoke and couldn't keep eye contact. "You know what it's not that important."

I felt like Ross at that moment. So this is love? This is what it feels like. Then in the end you never know the response.

"Look Joey this seems like it's hard for you to say, so why don't we talk about this later on tonight. It'll give you time to think and maybe you wont feel so scared of telling me this." Rachel got up from the chair and walked over to me to give me a hug. I accepted it not wanting to let go of her but I knew I had to that been the hardest thing to do. "I'm sure that what ever you have to say to me will go a lot easier if you think about it."

"Yea you're probably right" I said with a surprising steady voice. She let go of me and walked towards the bathroom. I felt relieved as I let out a big sigh. "That went well" I said out loud.

I may not have told her how I felt but it felt like she didn't feel the same I could understand with that but god how I wanted to hold her. At least I had time to think about how I feel and what I wanted to say. It was going to be a long day and I knew that I had to say something.

Later that day

The rest of the day was I mostly staying with Monica and Chandler and they both knew something was wrong. I hardly spoke. Monica made lasagna that I hardly touched and I was constantly spaced out.

"Joey is everything ok? You seem out of it today." Monica asked.

"Yea. I'm fine. Just a lot of changes I'm starting to make in my life." I told her.

"That's not the Joey I know." Chandler said. "You making changes is like you saying you don't like pizza." I glared at Chandler with a small smile on my face. "Seriously. What's up?"

"Well I guess you'll be easier to talk to about this" I started out. "How long did you and chandler know each other before you hooked up?"

"It was about ten years" Monica told me

"Ok well after you get to know someone for a while you started to have feelings for each other I get it. Well I've known someone for about 9 years and we're really close and the other night I felt like I had everything when I was with her. And I called her to tell her but I couldn't and she said we'd talk about it tonight. I think I'm falling in love with her." Monica and chandler just stared at me. " I know it doesn't seem possible but I really think I am."

"This wouldn't happen to be anyone we know would it?" Chandler asked.

"You've probably seen her around" I answered back as fast as I could. Monica looked at me like I was acting she was stupid to figure out who it was.

"It's Rachel isn't it?" She asked making sure she was correct. I couldn't say anything I just looked down at the table. "Oh my God. When did you start this?" She asked me

"Well I took her out the other night and we had the best night ever and that evening I started to look at everything differently."

"You do know she is pregnant with Ross's kid right?" Chandler reassured me.

"Of course I know that" I exclaimed. "Things are so messed up right now I'm starting to take things more seriously and now this happened."

"Wow" Monica said "Joey's actually growing up."

"Before you even say that what should I tell Rachel? I tried to but I kept backing out"

"Just tell her how you feel. Maybe she'll feel the same way" Chandler said. I saw Monica look at him in amazement. "What I can't give good advice every now and then?"

"You have you're own problems I have to figure out what to say to Rachel" I got up from the table getting ready to leave.

"Joey, aren't you going to tell Ross about this?" Monica asked. "I mean Rachel is pregnant with his child you should talk to him first."

"Well I was thinking about that I and came to the conclusion that if I told Rachel first, and she doesn't feel the same way then I'll avoid telling Ross."

"And if she feels the same way?" Chandler asked.

"I guess I'll have to tell him" I told them as I walked toward the door and walked out. Only 2 hours left until Rachel got home this was going to be the two longest hours of the day.

A/N: once again sorry it took so long to update i might have the next chapter up in a few day. and for the two that left the reviews thanks hope i get more. If anyone has any tips on my writing or criticism i need it. I'm not really good with my writing i can say it in my head but when i write it i can't get it out.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Ok new chapter. Thanks to Imaginewhatif for reviewing my story by the way I loved the story Tell Me You Love Me. Probably one of the best fan fics I've read in a while. Don't worry I'm getting towards reading everyone else's it just takes time printing off almost every single on in a size 5 font. Then reading it is pure hell but I deal with it. Anyway here's the next chapter.

Disclaimer: Not mine but oh well

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**Telling Rachel**

How right could I be? Those two hours dragged by. Each minute seemed to be slower than others. TV didn't help either because of the fact each episode of bay watch was an hour and one hour seemed like a lifetime and time seemed to last longer.

By the time seven o'clock came around I was wondering what was keeping Rachel so long she should have been back about an hour ago but I wasn't too worried because it just gave me more time to think about what I was going to say. There was still so much than just saying 'I'm starting to fall in love with you'. But that seemed to be the only thing that came to my mind.

Why is this so hard? I wondered. She's a friend that's all that matters if she doesn't feel the same just continue with the friendship. It"s not that easy.

The sound of the door opening to the apartment interrupted my thoughts but the only person I thought would have entered was Rachel. But it wasn't.

Monica stood in the doorway as I leaned back in the chair Rachel had bought when she broke my chair, Rosita. Monica looked at me. ''Rachel just called she's on her way here."

"Great" I said.

"You're still going to tell her, right?" Monica asked concerned.

"Of course I am. That's why I've been sitting here for the past three hours not thinking about it." I replied sarcastically. "I've been hanging around, Chandler too long, haven't I?"

"Just a little too long. Its so sad that when two people hang around each other too long they start acting like each other" Monica told me.

"Yea that's why Chandler is acting so much more like you lately." I shot back, as I smiled. For the first time that day I smiled without feeling nervous or scared. The door opened again and Rachel walked in.

This was it. I was going to find out how she really felt. I started to feel sick again like I did this morning trying to talk to her.

"Hey Rach." Monica greeted. Rachel returned the greeting and looked at me.

"Joey are you ok? You look like you're going to be sick." Rachel told me. 'I feel like it' was what I was tempted to say.

"Well Joey just has a lot to tell you about something and..." Monica was cut off by the glare in my eyes looking directly at her. "And I shouldn't be the one talking so I'm just going to go" Rachel gave Monica a quizzical look as Monica headed towards the door. Before she exited the apartment she mouthed 'good luck' to me and left.

"What was that about?" Rachel asked looking at me.

"Just something that came up earlier between her and me." I quickly responded.

"Are you ok?" She asked again.

"Well, there was something I wanted to talk to you about." I reminded her. What did I just say? Think Joey.

"ok..." she looked at me like I didn't know what I wanted to say.

"About what I tried to tell you earlier." I told her.

"Oh Right" She said with a small laugh. "Sorry I completely forgot about it."

If I knew that I wouldn't have said anything, I told myself.

"I'll be back in a few minutes" she said as she walked towards her bedroom followed by the door closing behind her.

Minutes passed by. It seemed like forever since I last saw her. Ok this should be so hard. So you like Rachel. ...I have to stop repeating this in my head and just say what I have to say.

"So you wanted to talk to me?" Rachel said as she walked towards the kitchen.

"Yea. You might want to take my seat while I explain this to you." I told her as I got up from my chair. She sat down as I slowly walked over to the counter. I faced towards her. "Ok well this morning I was trying to say something and I might as well just get it out. We've known each other for about nine years and over the years I've watched you get hurt and hurt again by Ross and it kills me knowing that someone can do something like that to someone so... beautiful like you. Well for a few days now I've been feeling awkward by you and that date we went on last week got me thinking about some changes in my life but it started to make me feel something towards someone I'm really close with." I paused. I didn't know what I was saying I was just saying it. "Rachel, I think I'm in love with you."

She was completely silent. She stared at me in shock, "Rachel please say something" but instead of doing so she just stared at me like I wasn't there. That was all I needed before a response came from her. But what she would say was something I was looking forward. I needed an answer but something wasn't right.

I could see it in her eyes as I watched her stare right at me.

A/N: I wanted to leave a good cliffhanger but i couldnt figure out how to end it and leave it the way it was. i hope you enjoyed the chapter please review i dont know when the next chapter will be up because of the fact i'm stuck at work for the rest of the week but, i'll see what i can do.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I ended the last chapter with out even thinking about how to begin the next I've tried to put a lot of thought in it. Hopefully it'll turn out like I wanted it to. Thanks for all the reviews. Hope you enjoy this chapter. Sorry For the long delay. and lately I've been working a lot on another fan fiction that is stuck in my head.

Disclaimer: I kept thinking all through the day how I wanted to own them but sadly I don't. If you have any one of the six I'm willing to trade you... but I know you'll never give me that opportunity.

**Rachel's Reaction**

Silence filled the room and I felt as if I should have just left and came back at another time.

"You're what?" Rachel finally asked.

I felt a tear form in my left eye. _Don't make me say it again._ I thought to myself. "I'm in love with you." I repeated. She just sat there I didn't know what to do. "Rach, if you don't..."

"When did this start?" She asked me. "I mean how?"

"The other night after taking you out to dinner." I told her. She just looked at me. "I think it had something to do with the fact that we went out the other night and found out some things that most people wouldn't know. For once I wasn't worried about whether she likes me or not. I knew who I was with and it made me comfortable. I had a lot of fun just getting to spend time with you. Rach.." I paused in the middle of what I was saying, taking a deep breath. I felt my legs shaking. "I never expected this feeling."

I couldn't tell what was going on she was still staring out of space like I wasn't even there. "I wanted to tell you." I said breaking the short silence. It was hard to tell what she was thinking but somehow I had this strong feeling that I was going to get this chance. It was worth a shot though.

"Obviously this was a mistake..." I said after trying to leave the living room.

"I just don't know what to think, Joey." Rachel said as I started heading towards my bedroom.

I paused listening to what she was trying to say. "You don't have to feel the same way, Rach. It was something that was happening with me and I thought you would like to know before things start to go wrong."

"What?" Rachel didn't seem to understand that I never told Ross. Maybe some how she knew that Monica and Chandler found out about this. Maybe she did feel the same way and doesn't want to tell me. Or try to hide it from Ross. What if Ross isn't fine with this?

The Questions just seemed to go through my head as I tried thinking of a reply.

"What do you mean before things start to go wrong?" She asked me.

I knew I had to come up with some kind of answer and the best thing to do was to throw Ross into it. "Ross doesn't know I feel like this." I explained. "If he found out he'd lose it like he did when you told him you were pregnant."

Rachel smiled "so I guess I'd have to break the news to him." 

Suddenly I felt like my life was turning around, and in a good way the one person I only saw as a friend but also fell in love with and was scared to explain this feeling, had decided to give me a chance. "Well I'd be there with you when you told him"

"Ok Joey think about it. I'm pregnant with his child and his best friend is in love with me. Not a pretty picture."

"So what do we do?" I asked her.

For the first time that morning I felt confident. I didn't feel scared to say anything.

"Well if he's not going to be an ass like he usually is in situations like these and finally realizes that it's not going to work between me and him I guess we'd be ok to try this out" Rachel told me. "But if he's not ok with this then we can't do this. I couldn't hurt him like this"

Well if he's not ok with it then we'll just keep it a secret, I thought.

"I know." That was the only thing I could say to her.

(A/N: this is where I'm going to change the POV because of the next few chapters coming up)

Rachel had thought a lot of how to say this to Ross. Yes she loved Joey but somehow she knew that Ross wasn't going to deal with this well. Ross had always loved her and she knew that and with him knowing that she was with someone else, it would kill him.

"I'll tell him" Rachel said as Joey walked over to her.

Rachel stood up. Joey hugged her

Rachel was happy.

She held back the tears as she felt a pang of regret.

A/N: Ok so it didn't end the way I wanted it to but it was all I can think of. So do you think Ross will be jealous or will he be ok with it..? If anyone has any Ideas please give them I just might add them to the story

Once again as always Please Review... Even if you don't I'll still post up the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: When I started to write this story it was going to be a one shot. Somehow I'm glad it wasn't because of the face that there would be a lot missing from the story. I'm surprised that those reviews went up so fast. For Ross and Rachel fans, I am working on a story for those two lobsters I'm just completely lost with it because of the song that I'm trying to write for it. Well anyway here's the next chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own them but I'm still working on it.

**Telling Ross with a bit of Regret**

_The next day_

Today was going to be so much better, Rachel though as she woke up the next morning. You're with a great guy and you get to tell Ross what really going on between you and Joey...Even though nothing has happened yet.

The morning past still Rachel felt that small pang of regret.

Joey had left for the afternoon to shoot the next episode of Days of Our Lives. Somehow this left Rachel by herself thinking about what she should do.

In the back of her mind she felt that Ross would get used to the fact that she and Joey would be together but there was a small part that made her feel like this would ruin the relationship for three people. It kept her away from the idea of even telling Ross.

The thoughts of what she and Ross went through, whether or not they were together was holding her back from this. But she knew that if Ross didn't find out by being told he'd somehow find out some other way.

Rachel made her way out of the apartment to go visit Monica and Chandler. Somehow when she found out neither one of them were in the apartment, she felt lonely. Rachel started to head back to her and Joey's apartment when she heard someone walk up the stairs. To her relief it was Monica coming home from work.

"Hey, Rachel." Monica greeted. She noticed a look on Rachel's face that told her something was wrong. Without waiting for a reply she asked what was wrong.

Rachel still didn't reply. Monica unlocked the door to her apartment and both walked inside.

"Did you ever feel like you were scared of saying something to someone and not knowing how they would react would stop you from telling them how you feel?" Rachel finally said.

"Joey told you?" Monica asked. Rachel was surprised that she knew about this.

Instead of getting into it all Rachel said was "yes."

Rachel sat down at the table. "I didn't think that someone else would feel this way for me. I mean I always knew somehow, Ross was the only one that did but, Mon, you should have seen the way Joey reacted. He was so scared and when I said I'd give it a try I still felt guilty of wanting to because of Ross." Rachel let out a small sigh.

"Ok, so do you think that maybe something is telling you that you still love Ross and want to keep trying to work it out with him? Or do you think that you only feel like this because of the fact that Ross will react like a over energized, jealous maniac like he did five years ago?" Monica wanted to make sure that Rachel was really in for this because somehow or another someone would get hurt.

"I think it's the jealous thing" Rachel told her. "Regret sucks when it comes to people you care about"

"Yea then it really come back to bite you in the ass when things go wrong" Monica agreed. "You know you have to tell Ross. So maybe he'll be completely jealous about it. He's with Mona and now you're trying to move on like he is. Or so I think he's trying to move on."

"To tell you the truth I don't think Ross will ever move on from me." Just as Rachel finished her sentence Ross entered the apartment.

"Hey" He greeted.

Monica leaned over and whispered in Rachel's ear, "well here's the chance to find out." With that she got up and went out on the balcony to leave them alone.

Ross stood there as he watched Monica leave. "So what's going on? Monica just got up and left and you two seemed really quiet as I walked in."

"It's nothing really." Rachel told him.

"Are you ok, Rachel? You seem like you're afraid of me, or something." Ross looked at her carefully.

"I'm fine. Look, I need to talk to you" This is where I find out what he really wants, Rachel told herself.

"Sure."

Rachel got up from the table and sat on the couch. She noticed he was just standing there in confusion. "Well are you coming over here or not?" Without thinking about it he slowly walked over to the couch and sat down.

"What's up?" Ross asked concerned.

"This isn't easy for me to tell you." Rachel looked at him "We've been on and off for years and now I'm pregnant with your child but we're not...together."

"I'm aware of that, Rachel." He told her sternly

"I know this is just a start off." She said. "Well lately things started to change and we don't want to be together."

"Rach, what's going on?" Ross confronted her.

Rachel sighed as Ross just stared at her. "Joey told me he's in love with me." She finally said. "And I told him I wanted to give it a try."

Ross just sat there in shock.

"Ross, say something" Rachel said

"I don't know what to say to say Rach." Ross finally said after a moment of silence. "I mean how long were you going to wait to tell me this?"

"I just found out yesterday so if you..."

"Ok, So you decided to make this decision without talking to me first?"

"I figured it would matter because we've been broken up for five years" Rachel said starting to get irritated with him. "Ross, I know that this is hard, but you have to let go. Joey and I both agreed that if you're not ok with this that it won't happen."

"What about 'us'?" Ross asked.

"There is no 'us'. There hasn't been."

Ross sat silently before he got up and started walking towards the door. "I know that we're having a child together but knowing that someone else is going to take my place as the father..."

"I never said Joey was going to replace you. Ross you're acting stupid."

"Oh really?"

"Yes. You don't know how many times the question of wanting to say no to Joey and getting back with you has entered my mind in the past day. The regret I felt when I told Joey I would do this." Rachel felt tears form in her eyes. "What difference does it make anyway? You're with Mona."

"I broke up with her," he whispered loud enough for Rachel to hear him.

Rachel said nothing as she watched Ross angrily walk out of the apartment

_A/N: Ok this was not how I planned this out but it was what came to my mind as I kept writing this. I didn't expect it to be this long either but I guess the longer the story is the better it is. Anyway I hope you enjoyed this. I might not have the next chapter up tomorrow but it should be up in the next week._

_Well I hope you enjoyed this. Please read and review. _


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Ok so this chapter took a while but things have been crazy lately. I finally got a chance to finish this so i'm pretty happy about that. Hope you enjoy this because it was a pain to write.

**Love Never Ends**

Rachel stood in silence as the door closed behind Ross. She didn't know what else to do. Had he just said what she thought? Was Mona out of the picture because Ross still thought that he and Rachel would be together?

Rachel didn't know what to do with this. She knew that somehow she and Ross would end up together but not like this.

This had only made Rachel feel worse. Now she felt like she had lost her best friend. The only guy that she ever truly realized had loved her in every way possible. It was gone, just by saying that someone else is there.

Rachel felt a slight touch on her shoulder as tears fell from her eyes. "Rachel, he'll get used to this." Monica's soft voice told her.

Rachel turned around as she and her friend hugged. "He might have to get used to it but I won't." she told Monica as she pulled away from the hug. "when he told me that he had broken up with Mona, I knew the reason was me. Somehow I just wanted to say lets get back together but then Joey came to my mind and it stopped me."

"This is where you have to make the right choice." Monica told her. "I've never seen Joey the way he was yesterday and I knew somehow he was in love. But Ross has loved you since ninth grade. Someone will get hurt but they'll end up pulling through."

Rachel listened carefully and knew she that no matter what she'd do it was a lose-lose situation but there was an answer somewhere.. It would only be a matter of time until she found out.

This wasn't supposed to be how it was. It wasn't the way to go. Maybe everything she had told him was in her head.

Nothing to him seemed right anymore. Every decision he had made was for Rachel and every time someone had always gotten hurt in the middle of this relationship. but what was there of the relationship it had been for years since they had dated and still no matter what happened someone always had a way to deny the fact that they were still in love with each other.

The past was full of break ups and heartache neither one of them had admitted truly how they had felt.

Ross sat on his couch with beer in his hand. There was silence in the apartment. All he could think about is what he had given up for Rachel and here she was with someone else but not just anyone.

It was Joey.

Ross looked out the window and stared into Monica and Chandler's apartment.

The apartment was empty.

the night seemed to last forever as he stared out the window. And still he couldn't get Rachel off his mind.

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Joey entered his apartment to find it empty. He looked over to Rachel bedroom where the door was closed.

Everything is ok. Ross took it well. Joey figured.

Rachel's door opened up. "Hey" she said to him softly.

Joey just smiled. "Hi" he said shyly and quietly. "How did it go?"

Rachel didn't know what to tell him. She was still so confused about what Ross had told her. Somewhere deep in her heart she still cared about him but with Joey she knew he wouldn't get mad if she had told the truth.

"not too good." Rachel told him as she walked out of the bedroom.

"I wasn't expecting it too go good." Joey told her. "You know how Ross is. He gets jealous

plus he's been in love with you for the longest time. Dating someone to him is like using them as a back up to get over you."

Joey sat down in his chair "well he must have really given up on back ups and gave us a serious thought." Rachel told him "he broke up with Mona and blamed me for not telling him that I wasn't moving on"

"so what does this mean?" Joey asked not sure where Rachel was going with this. "Do you still want to be with him?"

"I honestly don't know" Rachel took a deep breath. "we both said if Ross wasn't ok with this then we wouldn't do it but I still want to think that we can try without him knowing."

"no" Joey snapped. "I'm not hiding the fact that I'm with you especially if I'm hiding this from

Ross. Rach what are you thinking? do you want me to die young?"

"Oh right I forgot about Ross's anger." Rachel said sarcastically.

Joey stood up from the chair. "So what do we do?"

-----

The next day

"And then I left. I couldn't handle it" Ross told his friend while sitting at Monica's apartment.

"So you didn't deal with it like a normal human being" Chandler commented with a smirk. Ross looked away from him. "Ok lets get serious about this. Do You still love her?"

"If I didn't then would I have just walked out like I did?" Ross couldn't tell whether he was more angry or hurt about Rachel and Joey.

Silence came into the room when Joey entered. "Hey" There was complete silence in the kitchen "Ok so I see that no one's into greetings anymore." He said with a faint smile.

Ross just glared at him

"Right" Joey said and walked out of the apartment.

Ross glanced back at Chandler "so what are you going to do ignore him for the rest of your life?" Chandler asked him, breaking the long silence.

"Well, no. I just never saw Joeys as the kind of person that Rachel would end up with." _What am I thinking. I can't just claim Rachel as mine we haven't gone out for five years._

"Look just try to talk it out. I know how you feel, Ross. Things will get better." Chandler told him.

"So what should I do go over there and talk to them and pretend that I'm ok with this?" Ross asked.

"Why are you questioning this so much, Ross?" Chandler asked.

"Because Rachel's not sure how she feels about any of this" Monica said from the bedroom door.

Ross just looked at Monica. "What?"

"After you left yesterday with your stupid little "why isn't it about me" spaz attack she sat here and told me that when she told that she would try this, that all she thought about was you. She couldn't help but feel bad because all you did was walk out." Monica told him harshly. "You need to stop and think about her for once. Not yourself."

"It's not always about me..." Ross tried to tell her

"Then stop acting like a kid who's trying to fight for something that he can't get. Ross, I know that you and Rachel have had a long 7 years as friends and now you're having a child with her but don't think that she has no right to move on because she will even if its not with you." Monica said.

"Ok lets get something straight. Has anyone noticed that neither one of us has had a descent relationship since we broke up. I know I've been married and divorced twice but who did one of those end up with." Ross tried to explain to them.

"Yeah only because you hid it from her." Monica snapped.

"You know what forget this" Ross said angrily as he got up from the seat "I don't even know why I try anymore"

He headed towards the door.

"Because you still care, Ross. " Monica said as she walked up to him "Look I know you still love her even after your divorce I knew it but you never did anything about it. Now I'm not trying to blame you for anything but you keep giving up. If you love her go for her Joey will live. He can deal with being friends with you. But one thing none of us want to see is two really good friends fight over someone who is pregnant. Start trying to do something. You always find things out too late. Stop trying to be that scared person you were when you Carol were going through a divorce and starting seeing thing the way you really want to see them. For once just stop walking away from everything."

"I have reasons to walk away. Yea I got all crazy jealous when we dated because of Mark but I'm willing to change that. I'm going to stop being that old person and show that I care"

"Things don't happen that fast, Ross. That's one thing you need to realize. Its not a movie, a book or anything like that."

"Don't you think I know that."

"Well then start acting like you do."

He glared at her and said nothing as he walked out the door.

The hallway was empty and silent. Ross took a deep breath as he closed the door behind him.

He knew the choice he had to make: Go over to Joey and Rachel's or as usual walk away from everything.

He started head towards the stairs but instead he turned around and went to apartment 19 to fix this problem.

He slowly entered the apartment where he saw Joey and Rachel sitting on the couch talking "Its like he wont even talk to me now"

Joey looked at the door way opening. "Look Joey we knew that somewhere down the line that this was going to happen. We should just.." Rachel noticed Joey looking at the door. "Ross?"

"Yea, it's me" Ross said entering the apartment. "I was kind of hoping to talk to both of you about… this"

Rachel shifted on the couch sitting up strait. "Ok. What is it?"

"Well, first off I just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way I acted. Rachel you were right I'm an idiot for acting the way I did. I should have talked to you. And Joey I'm not mad at you. You had a feeling and you expressed it. I must say that you are a bigger person than I was. I was always trying to hide it. It's hard being in love with someone when you know there's a possibility of never getting chance or the shot of being with someone for the rest of your life. You're a lucky guy."

"Ross wait you don't have…" Joey tried to start out.

"No Joey you don't need to say anything else. I'm ok with this. It'll just take a while to get use to the fact that you too are dating. I was an idiot." Ross said as he headed toward the door. "I really wish the best to both of you" He closed the door behind him and the room filled with silence.

Rachel just stared at the door. "I'm going to go talk to him." Rachel told Joey.

"You sure that that's a good idea?" Joey asked her.

"It's something I need to do."

"Ok." He said wondering if this was the last of him and Rachel or if it was just the beginning. Either way he knew that it wasn't going to last.

He sadly watched Rachel enter the hallway.

"Ross, wait." Ross was already heading down the stairs when he heard Rachel calling for him.

She met him at the stairway. "I know you're not ok with this."

"Well I guess it didn't take a scientist to figure that out." Ross said to her "Its your life. Just be happy with it and don't put anything on hold for me."

"There's just one problem, Ross" Ross looked at her concerned. "After you left yesterday I started to think things over and all. I know we said just because we're having this baby doesn't say anything about us getting us back together but don't you think that somewhere along the way this was meant to happen? For us?" Rachel tried to hold back the tears in her eyes.

"Rachel I'm sorry but it wouldn't work out." Ross took a deep breath and sighed. "I've been thinking about this since you told me and I think its best that you're with someone that you care about and can actually be with."

"So what you're giving up just like that."

"I tried. What more do you want me to say?" Ross asked angrily. "Did you mean it when you said you felt regret saying yes to Joey asking you out?"

"Ross what does this have to do with that?"

"Everything. I know you still care Rachel. Both of us have been up and down like a yo-yo in this relationship. Now its like when we want something neither one of us ever feels the same way. So I need to know. Do you still love me?" Ross waited patiently as he kept his eyes on Rachel.

Tears started to form in her eyes as she looked directly at him "Yes." She whispered through her tears.

"Follow you're heart, Rach. I know that this is hard for you but its all I can say." he put his arm around her and hugged her. She silently cried on his shoulder. "It's ok" he whispered. "I'm always here for you."

They stood on the stairway holding each other. Both of them felt like they never wanted to let go.

A/N: Well thats it. I actually started to feel bad at the end of the chapter because i didnt know how to end it and when i did i didn't wnat to stop so hopefully the next and possibly last chapter will be up later this week. As usual read and review i hope you enjoy this.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Ok So this Chapter wasn't posted up as fast as i wanted it to be but i had t make a few adjustments with it. I'm already working on the next chapter so it should be done in a few days or by the beginning of next week. this didnt turn out the way i wanted it to but its the best thing i can do. hopefully the next chapter will be a little more interesting.

**Never Wanting to Let Go**

Ross couldn't let go of her. It just didn't seem like the right thing to do The minutes passed by and all he could thing about was holding her in him arms and not wanting to let go. "Hey." Ross said silently, breaking the hug but in a way still wanting to hold her. She lifted her head from his shoulder "You better get back to Joey." he said gently. For the first time in two days he didn't feel any guilt of what was happening. For the first time since he'd fallen in love with Rachel, he didn't act like a jealous maniac. For once he was ready to support her for the decisions she was making whether he was involved or not.

Was this the beginning of the new Ross?

"So you're ok with this?" she asked him.

"Well not entirely but I can deal with it." Ross admitted

"I'm not really sure I can." Rachel told him.

"What?" Ross wasn't sure that had heard her right.

"I can't do this with Joey. It just doesn't seem right" Rachel told him.

"You're not doing this for me are you? I won't let you give anything up for me." Ross said.

"It's not about you, Ross." She paused " Joey and I are so close as friends. Living with him made him feel closer with me but I never knew he would ever feel like this. When Joey told me how he felt I thought it was kind of a joke but now that I know how he really feels and that he's serious about this, it kind of scares me."

"Well, since it's Joey, I can see why." Ross smirked. "So what about us?"

"Well lets just wait and see how everything goes." Rachel told him. Joey and I are technically dating. Even though its dragging on there's nothing I can do about this. He seems so afraid and yet its so cute."

Ross let out a small laugh "It's ok, Rach. I understand"

Rachel smiled "Yea."

"Ok. So good luck with Joey." Ross returned her smile he turned away and headed down the stairs.

"Ok" Rachel said smiling as she watched Ross walk down the stairs. A sudden strange feeling came over her as she felt like she wanted to say she loved him. The words kept entering her mind.

She wanted to get them out. She didn't want to tell Joey what was going on but it didn't seem right hiding it from him on what happened.

Before entering she took a deep. _Ok your doing this for yourself . No one else. Get in the apartment and tell Joey what's going on _.

She entered the apartment. Joey was no where in sight . "Joey" She called out, as she closed the door behind her.

No one was there.

Maybe now wasn't the time to tell Joey that she had made a choice. Then again maybe this wasn't the right choice. There was no way to tell.

She kept her mind on Ross and put the thought of her and Joey aside.

A few hours had passed and still the apartment was filled with silence. Rachel started to worry about Joey.

Getting off the chair, she walked over to the counter and picked up the phone to dial Joey's cell. The phone went straight to the voicemail.

"Joey, its me. I didn't see you after this thing with Ross and I'm actually starting to worry about you. I guess call me when you get this or I'll see you when you get back to the apartment." With a deep breath she hung up the phone.

-----

"I don't know what to do Phoebe." Joey called from the living room of his friends apartment.

"Well maybe it was a mistake telling her how you felt." Phoebe said as she entered the living room from the bedroom. She sat next to Joey on the couch. "We both know that Ross and Rachel are going to end up together. Like I said from the beginning: They're lobsters."

"So you just want me to give up on her?"

"No. Joey, I didn't mean it that way." She looked at Joey concerned. "I know this is hard for you. But if letting her go is something you have to do then let thing be the way they were meant to be."

"I just… I'd hate to think that there's another possibility of Ross hurting Rachel again." Joey told her.

"I really don't think Ross is going to do that. Ever since Rachel told him about the baby he's been much more supportive." Joey knew that Ross was supportive but he still wasn't sure if this was right.

"I know that he's been more supportive but did it really take him this long to realize that he was still in love with her?" Joey asked not really even wanting an answer.

"Actually no. He kept denying it when he and Rachel were married but I saw right through him. He would say that he's not in love with her and then what do you they're still married."

"Yea but it was stupid he should have just told Rachel how he felt instead of waiting for someone else to fall in love with her." Joey said with a small whine.

"Joey, They're meant to be together. I know how the both of them are. They're never going to let go."

Hearing these words killed Joey inside but somehow he knew that letting Rachel go was the best thing for both of them.

A/N: Ok there it is not the best thing i've written but its something to go along with the story as ususal please read and review if you dont i'll still post up the next chapter


	8. Chapter 8

A/N : Ok so I started this before posting the last chapter. My friend has been bugging the hell out of me to finish this story so yea. Well here's the next chapter. Enjoy it while it lasts there's not that much left.

**The Hardest Decision **

Joey stood outside the door of his apartment. This had to have been the hardest thing he was about to do. In the right way however he knew it was the right thing to do.

He took a deep breath before entering the apartment.

He opened it slowly as he heard the TV on in the living room. Rachel was sitting in the recliner. "Rachel?" he said not sure why it was so silent. "Rach, I know you're here."

"Yea I am" Rachel said softly It was like a whisper to Joey.

"Is everything ok?" Joey asked concerned about what was going on. He knew what was coming he just didn't want to judge things too fast.

"No" she said as she turned the chair around facing him. "Are we crazy or stupid here, Joey?" She asked him with a straight face.

"I don't think so." Joey said sounding more confused than anything. "Rachel what's going on?"

_Before you say anything to him think of how he'll feel let him down easily. _Rachel took a deep breath before wanting to say anything "I know that we'd agree that if Ross wasn't ok with this then we'd end it. But the thing is he's fine with it."

"Ok. So that's great"

"I'm the one who's not ok with it Joey." She looked at him and he just stared at her like she had said nothing.

"Is this because of Ross?" Joey asked after a moment of complete silence.

"No. well I'm really not sure. Joey he's changed a lot since I told him I was pregnant and he was so supportive of what I had to tell him" Rachel felt as if she couldn't explain it. It was hard fro her to break this news to Joey.

She could see the hurt in his eyes as he was ready to walk out of the apartment Rachel stood up from the chair. "I have a choice Joey and right now I feel that being with Ross is a better idea."

"I knew something like this was going to happen." Joey told her in a hurt way.

"I know this is something that's going to be hard. Especially on you since this never happens for you but after what just happened you need to take your time and figure out what you really want."

"I had what I wanted for a day. Ross comes into the picture and once again I lose what I can have because of something else. Him. Ross is the key to every thing here. I know I told you to do what you think is the best. Obviously you think that this is the best thing to do, so I think I'm just going to leave this alone and pretend this never happened." Joey walked towards the door. He looked back at Rachel with anger and hurt something he never thought he'd feel with her. "I just need some time to myself right now" Joey walked out the door.

-------------------------------

Monica had come over about an hour later asking what happened. Rachel explained everything that had happened.

"So you're just not sure how to handle this right now?" Monica asked.

"You think?" Rachel snapped back. "Why does this happen to me? I mean first Ross and this was since ninth grade and now Joey." Rachel tried to hide the pain of it all.

"Rach, just tell Joey what you really want. I know he's going to be hurt by this. I think that from the moment this started everyone knew that. Just tell him what you think is the best thing to do is. He'll understand."

"She's right, Rachel" A voice came from the apartment. Monica and Rachel both turned to see Joey standing in the apartment.

Rachel got up and hugged Joey. "are you ok?" she asked.

"Not really, getting out made me realize that I need to do something Ross never did." Monica and Rachel looked at him.

"What exactly is that?" Monica asked.

"He never let go." Joey said.

"Did you talk to Ross or something?" Rachel asked.

"Yeah that's where I was." Joey told them. "Rachel, he cares about you more than I ever would. Talking to him made me realize that it was just a feeling."

"Just a feeling? What happened to the I'm falling in love with her thing?" Monica asked him.

"I'm not saying I don't love her Mon. I'm just doing what's right" Joey told them. "I know that I need to start taking it slow with relationships instead of just a one night stand. This whole thing made me realize that I need a steady relationship and I need to start taking things more serious." Joey looked at Rachel. "I told you knew something like this was going to happen. I just never thought that I would have ever felt this way for anyone. But the only thing that's going to get me through this is knowing that you and Ross are together. You deserve him."

Rachel hugged Joey again. "Go for it, Rach." Joey whispered in her ear.

He released her from the hug and watched her walk out the door.

"You're really ok with this." Monica asked Joey as he just kept his eyes on the door as it closed feeling a small tear run down his face.

He did only what he thought was right.

A/N: Ok So I know this isn't the longest chapter I've posted but its there. I really didn't know what else to do with this There will possibly be two more chapters. Anyways hope you enjoyed the chapter. And as always please read and review.


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: Ok So this chapter was really hard and it seemed like i took forever to write it. I've been working so much that i really havent had time to work on it but here's the next chapter. YAY!!! i know i messed the last chapter up by not putting the conversation between Ross and Joey in it so i made up for it.

**A New Start**

Ross had the temptation to call Rachel since Joey left the apartment. He knew Rachel was going to do something. She wouldn't just forget things like this right away.

He sat on the couch. The apartment was silent. Ross had a song playing softly in the apartment.

A strangled smile fell from your face  
It kills me that it hurts you this way  
The worst part is that I didn't even know  
There's a million reasons for you to go  
But if you can find a reason to stay

Ross had a lot of memories still from the night that they had broken up but he realized that everything no matter what happened needed to be worked out.

He was the one that left. He was the one who got jealous and let things end. He was the one who slept with someone else.

If things were going to change. They were going to change now.

I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe it I can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

A knock was at the door. Ross sighed as got up from the couch and walked to the door. To his surprised Rachel was on the other side.

"What are you doing here?" Ross asked not sure what was going on.

"Making the right move." Rachel responded.

She said if you're gonna make this work  
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts  
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see  
She said like it or not it's the way it's gotta be  
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me 

"Which would be what?" Ross asked.

"I heard you and Joey talked thing out." Rachel said.

"Yea we did." Ross admitted

"What happened?"

-----------------------------------

Ross and joeys conversation

Ross opened the door to find Joey standing in the hallway.

"You probably hate me for all that's happened." Joey said

"What makes you say that?" Ross asked stepping aside letting Joey walk inside the apartment.

"well with everything that's been going on. I would hate me too."

"Joey sit down for a minute." Ross told him

Joey went over to the couch and sat down. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was me. I overreacted again." Ross took a seat on the arm of the couch. "I've made a lot of mistakes, Joey. I think I really messed it up this time."

"No you didn't. If anything I messed up I never talked to you about this…"

"Joey. Don't blame yourself. You did nothing wrong." Ross sighed "What is this feeling you have?"

"I'm not sure how to explain it." Joey took a deep breath. "At first I was telling myself this is nothing, Just a small crush. Then I couldn't stop thinking about her. Now its like I want to do the right thing but I don't know what the right thing is."

"Joey did you ever think that you're trying to make yourself fall in love with someone. Or you realized that you're ready to commit to someone." Ross looked at Joey. "I never gave up on Rachel but you really need to think about what you want with this. I'll be ok with it no matter what happens but you're going to have to make the move. It doesn't have to be right now. Just make sure Rachel knows what you're doing with this."

"What the hell happened to you? You used to be this overly crazy jealous guy now you're…"

"The guy who wont stand in the way of anything to make his best friend, and ex wife to be happy." Ross said with a smile. "People change Joey. I just chose the right time to do it."

"So I guess I have to make my choice now" Joey said.

"No, I'm not going to have you make that choice right now, but here's something you really need to ask yourself. Do you really love her or is this just a feeling?" Ross asked. "We all make our choices. You just have to know what your doing. I made a choice eighteen years ago and I still haven't let her go." Ross paused for a minute. "Even if she does move on. I still won't be able to let her go. But I know she'll be happy."

"Why didn't you make that move on your anniversary when you dated?" Joey asked him from no where. "I know you love her but why didn't you make that move?"

"It's a lot more complicated than you think Joey" Ross told him with a steady voice.

"well she's never going to find out about it unless you tell her" Joey said.

Ross knew what he meant. "I'd give anything to go back to that day and make sure things were ok between us. The worst thing I did was walk out"

"Why didn't you fix things then, Ross?" Joey asked irritated. "She keeps getting hurt by you. And now you guys have a kid on the way."

"You can't say I didn't try, Joe. She was the one who made the decision on not getting back together and told me she didn't have this feeling of love after I found out about the baby and told her we should be together" Ross took a deep breath. "I've hurt her so much Joey. Now it seems like all I can think about is going down that road and turning back into that person again." Ross paused for a moment. "I should have proposed when I wanted to. I should have walked right through that door and fixed things but I had to be stupid about it. I really don't know if I can go through this again.

"You deserve her, Ross. You've spent more than enough time trying to with be with her." Joey got up from the couch. "I won't be the one to stand in the way of two people who love each other." Joey walked over to the door trying to hide the fact that he was hurt.

"Joey if you keep hiding this then you'll never have a relationship." Ross called after him. Joey stopped as he opened the door.

"Maybe its better that I don't. I keep screwing up or fall for the wrong girl." Joey stopped when he realized what he had said. "Your relationship with Rachel is a lot more important. Everyone makes mistakes you just have to make up for them"

"There's no way to make up for mistakes except for starting over."

"Then start over."

"What do you by you keep screwing up?'" Ross knew somehow Joey had been keeping a secret and yet with what Joey had just said Ross was curious about Joey's big secret.

"Don't worry about it." Joey told him.

"Joey, something's bugging you and you have this big secret. You say you keep screwing up. What do you mean?"

Joey took a deep breath. "For years I've slept around. Found a reason never to fall in love with someone. Or even think of starting a serious relationship." He took another deep breath. "A lot of people think I do this for the hell of it. They think that I don't care. I was like everyone else in high school. I fell in love with someone and I got my heart broken." A slight pause and a short silence came of the conversation. "We got engaged and as the wedding came closer we were more distant. She was constantly out. I was curious and started to get jealous. I came home from my job one night and I found a message on the machine and it was her. She told me that it wasn't going to work and that she had been seeing someone else. I had a breakdown and ever since I just…I can't commit to someone. I look at it as a fear of getting hurt again."

Ross stood in silence. It was like reliving Rachel and him all over again. Ever since they broke up neither one of them could go near anyone else with out a reason to break up with them Ross was married for the reason of getting Rachel out of his mind. There was always a reason for something and neither one of them could move on. He knew that she still loved him but how much. "Do what you think is the best thing to do, Joe. I'm not going to let myself control Rachel. She deserves the best."

"I really think that the best thing for her, Ross, is you. I know you're not ok with this."

"No I'm not. But I've been thinking about us for years and now that we might get this chance something came up once again. Its like something is telling us not to be together" Ross wasn't sure if this was the right thing to do. "I told Mona everything that had happened. I told her I would be with her as long as she understood that I still have my heart set on someone and that it'll take time for me to move on. I know I've given myself years to move on but maybe its time to accept things as they are for once. I've been this crazy and jealous ass never realized how to let go of someone. I need to move on."

Joey couldn't believe it. Had Ross actually gotten through the fact that he and Rachel were just friends. "I'm not going to let you give up. You deserve each other." Joey said as he walked out of the apartment.

Ross wanted to make a fast move and stop Joey, but he decided to see what the choice was.

"After he left I didn't do anything" Ross continued with the story. As Rachel stared at Ross. He noticed Rachel wasn't fully focused. "Are you ok"

Rachel finally looked up at him. _He did everything for me, and all I did was put him through hell. _ "I just can't believe all this." Rachel felt so bad. " You were going to propose and all I did was give up." 

"You didn't know what I was going to do. After you said 'lets take a break' I lost it. I shouldn't have done that."

"Well, like you said we all make mistakes" Rachel smiled. "Ypou just have to be willing to forgive someone for something that they never intentionally mean to do."

I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
And give me a break  
I'll keep us together

I know that you  
deserve much better  
remember the time I told you  
the way that I felt  
that I'd be lost without you  
never find myself  
let's hold on to each other above everything else  
start over, start over 

"Well with everything that has happened and you showed how much you really changed since all this started I think I want to try 'us' again" Rachel said.

A smile came to Ross's face. "Are you sure?"

"I'm more sure now than I ever was." Rachel told him.

"I'm never going to let anything go wrong between us again." Ross walked towards Rachel and gently put his hands on her waist. She put her arms around his neck. They both kissed passionately as the song kept playing

They were both there together and it was a choice that only two people in love would ever be able to make.

I'll do whatever it takes  
To turn this around  
I know what's at stake  
I know that I've let you down  
And if you give me a chance  
Believe that i can change  
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

The kiss broke. Ross hugged her tightly and felt like he didn't want to let go. this time he was sure he wasn't going to let go.

An hour had passed. Ross and Rachel were on the couch in each others arms.

"So how do you think everything's going to be with Joey?" Ross asked Rachel.

She turned her head to look in his eyes. " I think he'll be fine he was the one who told me to go for this."

"I'm sorry" The words caught Rachel off guard.

"For what?"

"Everything between us. If i hadn't have been so stupid to walk back through that door me and you would have been

married right now." Ross felt a tear in his eye. "I can never go back and prove to you how much I cared about you. I lost you 5 years ago and made the biggest mistake of losing you. I'm not going to let that happen again"

"Ross..." Rachel tried to stop him from blaming himself for what had happened.

"I'm not going to be that person again. I'm not going to get all crazy jealous. I'm going to support you."

"Let me ask you this." Rachel started out "Why were you crazy jealous like you were? I mean you knew nothing was going to happen but why couldn't you let it go?"

"I guess when you love someone as much and as long as I've loved you, the mind starts to go crazy and you think everything is going to go wrong." Ross sighed. "The night you and i broke up it killed me. I kept pulling myself together. When we were married I did everything i wasn't supposed to do. Rachel, I've made so many mistakes. I want to start over. I want it to be us again. I want to know that everything in the past can be forgotten because I know I could never make up for it."

"Well you just did" Rachel smiled. Ross smiled back "I'm not letting you go again. We'll work through this." Ross promised her. He knew that the past wasn't fully forgotten but what was forgiven was the only thing that mattered. They were back in each others arms.

------------------------

A/N: Ok SO you Joey/Rachel Fans are probably pissed at me for making this a R/R so to try and make you feel better i was going to make this a J/R Fan fic. ideas just got in the way. for those of you who like this story i hate to say it but theres one more chapter left. I have it typed out but i'm still going through it to make it better. but anyway i hope you enjoy the chapter and as always please review.

The song in the chapter is Whatever It Takes by Lifehouse. I know it wasnt a song at the present time but its fan fiction you can do what you wnat and it seemed to fit the chapter


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